Families and the School
Amoris Laetitia and the Catholic school: listening to families, strengthening partnership and making the joy of love visible in school life.
The question for governors
How do our decisions help the school work with families as partners, respond wisely to their circumstances and make the love of Christ visible in everyday school life?
Governors can ask how the school builds trust, listens before making assumptions and supports children through the joys and difficulties of family life. These questions reach communication, curriculum, pastoral care, resources and the way decisions are made.
What does Amoris Laetitia ask us to see?
Pope Francis’ apostolic exhortation Amoris Laetitia (2016) reflects on marriage and family life. These passages provide a starting point for school governance.
Parents have a primary role
Paragraph 84 affirms parents’ educational responsibility. Governors can ask how the school values their knowledge of their children.
Home and school share a task
Paragraphs 84–85 invite a renewed educational partnership. Mutual understanding helps families and schools work together.
Families nurture human values
Paragraphs 274–276 explore how family life develops habits of care, respect and freedom.
Catholic schools support families
Paragraph 279 connects Catholic education with seeing the world through Jesus’ love and understanding life as service.
Five themes to deepen our partnership with families
The Bishops’ Conference’s 2022 booklet offers a companion to the apostolic exhortation through five themes. Its questions support personal reflection and group discussion.
Joy
The reflections explore joy that grows through shared life, care and faith, including when families face difficulties together.
Love
Love is expressed through patience, generosity and concern for another’s flourishing. Its fruitfulness extends into the wider community.
Mercy
Mercy involves tenderness, healing and generous pastoral welcome, attentive to both spiritual and practical needs.
Realities and discernment
The publication invites attention to actual family circumstances and prayerful discernment informed by Scripture, Church teaching and conscience.
Mission
Families share faith and serve others. The Church also has a mission to accompany families and offer practical support.
Read one complete theme before using the governance questions. The booklet’s own questions can also support personal reflection.
How does this connect with governors’ roles?
Choose the questions that fit your school’s priorities. Ask what leaders know, how they know it and what support would help them strengthen provision.
1. Catholic mission and everyday relationships
Your roleKeep the school’s Catholic mission visible in its culture, strategic priorities and evaluation.
Ask leadersWhere do children, families and staff experience patience, kindness and joy in daily school life? What happens when relationships become strained?
Evidence to considerPupil and family feedback, staff voice, Catholic life evaluation and examples of improvements made after concerns were raised.
Support leadersProvide time for formation and thoughtful evaluation. Model respectful listening and constructive challenge in the board’s own work.
2. Parents and carers as partners
Your roleSeek assurance that the school values parents’ and carers’ knowledge and helps them contribute to their children’s education.
Ask leadersCan families understand how learning is progressing, ask questions and access support? Whose views are missing? How does feedback shape school improvement?
Evidence to considerCommunication arrangements, accessible consultation, feedback from different groups and examples of resulting changes.
Support leadersBack clear communication, accessible meetings and useful guidance for learning at home. Review barriers linked to language, working patterns, disability or digital access.
3. Pastoral care, welcome and safeguarding
Your roleCheck that pastoral and safeguarding systems respond effectively to children’s needs and changing family circumstances.
Ask leadersHow are children supported through bereavement, separation, illness or other difficulties? Can families seek help without feeling judged? Do staff know when specialist advice or safeguarding action is needed?
Evidence to considerAnonymised evaluation of pastoral support, pupil feedback, staff training and assurance about referral routes and follow-up.
Support leadersResource pastoral capacity and appropriate partnerships. Ask how support improves children’s safety, wellbeing and access to learning.
4. Curriculum, relationships and family life
Your roleSeek assurance that curriculum and resources communicate Catholic teaching accurately and appropriately for pupils’ age and development.
Ask leadersHow do RE and relationships education help pupils understand love, commitment, respect and responsibility? Can children engage with teaching without embarrassment about their own family circumstances?
Evidence to considerCurriculum plans, reviewed resources, staff formation, parent consultation and pupils’ understanding.
Support leadersEnable subject expertise and diocesan advice. Encourage sensitive planning that respects pupils’ privacy and does not ask them to disclose personal experiences.
5. Stewardship and practical support
Your roleScrutinise whether budgets and policies reflect the school’s mission and the circumstances of its families.
Ask leadersDo costs, communication or the timing of activities prevent participation? How are pressures on families understood? What difference has practical support made?
Evidence to considerParticipation information, family feedback, budget priorities and evaluation of support with meals, uniform, trips or other identified needs.
Support leadersPrioritise discreet, accessible help and sustainable partnerships. Review whether resources remove barriers and strengthen participation.
6. Faith, participation and shared mission
Your roleSeek assurance that school, home and parish work together to help children grow in faith and service.
Ask leadersHow do families understand prayer, worship, RE and the school’s mission? Can they participate at different points in their faith journeys? What do families tell us about these opportunities?
Evidence to considerFamily feedback, participation, parish and chaplaincy links, and examples of learning or service strengthened by partnership.
Support leadersEncourage accessible opportunities for prayer, reflection and service. Review barriers and listen to families who participate less often.
7. Discernment and evaluating impact
Your roleMake informed decisions rooted in Catholic mission, sound evidence and attention to those affected.
Ask leaders and ourselvesHave we understood the circumstances before deciding? Whose perspective is missing? What do complaints, compliments and feedback reveal? Can leaders show how partnership improves decisions, relationships or outcomes for children?
Evidence to considerConsultation, themes from complaints and compliments, reasons recorded for decisions and follow-up on agreed actions.
Support leadersAllow time for prayer, advice and reflection where appropriate. Agree a small number of useful indicators and a review date. Give leaders space to respond thoughtfully and evaluate the difference made.
Learning to Love
Learning to Love is the Bishops’ Conference’s March 2017 introduction to Catholic Relationships and Sex Education for educators. Drawing on Amoris Laetitia, it connects parents’ primary educational role with the support offered by Catholic schools.
It offers further formation on love, human dignity, relationships and the place of Catholic RSE within education.
Partnership with parents
Ask: How does our relationships education support parents and reflect a coherent Catholic understanding of love? How are families helped to understand the curriculum and raise questions?
Quality and preparation
Ask: What assurance do governors receive about the suitability of resources, age-appropriate teaching and staff preparation? How do leaders evaluate pupils’ understanding and experience?
Keeping the governance role clear
Governors oversee the quality and effectiveness of systems, policies and provision. Leaders and designated staff manage individual pastoral situations and safeguarding concerns. Formation discussions should use anonymised themes and proportionate evidence.
Apply these questions within the governing body’s responsibilities or the trust’s scheme of delegation, and follow relevant diocesan protocols.
Recognise the different people who care for children, including parents, carers, foster carers and grandparents. Listen to each family’s circumstances and strengths without making assumptions.
The Call, the Journey and the Mission
This short invitation from the Bishops of England and Wales offers Scripture passages, prayer and questions for reflecting on marriage and family life. It was prepared between the 2014 and 2015 Synods on the family and predates Amoris Laetitia.
It can support governors’ prayer and school–parish reflection on families’ joys, pressures and contribution to the Church’s mission.
A simple way to use it: choose one Scripture passage from the document, allow a short period of quiet reflection and consider what it asks of the school’s partnership with families. Personal sharing should be optional.
See the family. Consider the decision.
Before the meeting: read Amoris Laetitia paragraphs 84 and 279. Choose one theme from the bishops’ booklet to deepen reflection.
- Pause and pray — 2 minutes. Use the prayer below. Reflect on a time when patient listening helped someone understand a difficulty.
- Reflect — 3 minutes. Which idea from the chosen theme challenges our assumptions or deepens our understanding of Catholic mission?
- Apply — 5 minutes. Consider a fictional family unable to attend school meetings because of work and caring commitments. What would we need to understand before evaluating the school’s response? What strategic questions should governors ask?
- Agree action — 5 minutes. Choose one improvement within the board’s remit, identify practical support for leaders and set a review date. Agree what evidence would show a better experience for children or families.
Keep the discussion focused on governance. Participants do not need to share personal family experiences.
A prayer for families and wise leadership
Loving God,
you meet us in the ordinary moments of life,
in our joys and struggles,
and in the people entrusted to our care.
Bless the families of our school.
Strengthen those carrying heavy responsibilities,
comfort those experiencing loss or uncertainty,
and renew the love that sustains them.
Give us patience to listen,
mercy in our relationships,
and wisdom in the decisions we make.
Help us recognise each family’s gifts,
support our school leaders with generosity,
and work together so that every child
can learn, belong and flourish.
May our school make your love visible
through faithful service and daily kindness.
Through Christ our Lord. Amen.
Read the teaching and supporting resources
Use the bishops’ reflection booklet alongside this page, and follow the Vatican link to read Pope Francis’ complete apostolic exhortation, Amoris Laetitia (2016). The booklet offers questions to support reflection on its themes.